Imagine That
by suckerforasmile
Summary: It was only natural progression for the words to come out, but that didn't make Greg any more prepared to hear them. Slash, NickxGreg, oneshot.


_This doesn't have a specific timeline, I don't think, although I definitely imagined S6 Greg while writing it. So maybe hooking up for the first time sometime after the events of Grave Danger? -shrugs- I dunno. Timing doesn't really matter, though, so just go with what you feel fits. I've gone over this quite a few times, made tweaks here and there, but still, any mistakes are totally and completely mine. Feel free to point them out, just please, do so nicely? :)_

_"I love you_."

The words 'I love you' hadn't been spoken to Greg Sanders very often in his life, which may or may not be surprising, depending on whose side you were looking from. He'd heard them from very few people, not including his family. His friend April in high school told him every time they parted, but that was very different from 'in love' I-love-you's. His first girlfriend said it after four months of dating, but she ended up cheating on him with some male cheerleader, so he wasn't sure that was real love. He had a boyfriend in college who told Greg he loved him right before attempting to kill himself, so that made Greg even more unsure of the words.

For the majority of his life, Greg had thought that 'love' was just something developed by the media and authors to better sell their work. Okay, so maybe that was being dramatic, but really, Greg wasn't entirely sure if love went anywhere beyond your family and friends. Especially after Jacob had attempted suicide, he'd wondered why both his serious significant others had screwed him over so much.

Not that his uncertain disbelief tried to keep him from finding love. Just because he wasn't entirely sure if 75 percent of the population meant it when they said they were in love didn't mean he was going to write off romantic happiness forever. Matter of fact, it rather spurred him on more, just to see what the big deal was about.

And the ones that _did_ fall in love, for real, was it the three magic words that made the love real, or was it a feeling? Because, truth be told, Greg wasn't entirely sure. He'd been too caught off guard when his high school girlfriend told him she loved him to say anything back, and when Jacob had done it, Greg had still been trailing him along because Jacob had told him stories of attempted suicide when his first boyfriend broke up with him. Greg really hadn't wanted to be the person to push Jacob over the edge; unfortunately, it reached that point, anyway.

He's getting off topic, though.

It was probably entirely hurtful to Nick when Greg had bolted, but he really hadn't known how to react. He'd been trained that when someone other than your mother tells you they love you that disaster is sure to strike, and Greg didn't want to be around Nick when that happened. Which, now that he thinks back to it, was a terrible idea. Greg's ashamed he'd even thought of it that way, considering how many times he'd almost lost Nick. That doesn't make it any less true, though. His initial thought after Nick admitted it was 'What's he going to say, is he going to tell me there's someone else? Or maybe he'll continue with, 'but I can't keep this going.'' But that was so far from what Nick had actually done, which was kiss the spot where Greg's neck met his shoulders, and pull him closer.

Oh, God. What had he done? Even if they came out of this still together, there would always be lingering doubt in Nick's mind, keeping him from saying it ever again. Still, he hadn't gone _far_. Just to the first floor of his apartment building. If Nick left, he'd have to pass him on the way out.

Was it words or feeling? Sure, Greg has read enough books about it, but he hasn't ever _felt_ it. Did that mean it was just words? Or that it really was a feeling and Greg just hasn't felt it yet?

There is a couple standing in the lobby of his apartment building, sitting just across the room. The man's whispering in the woman's ear, reducing her to laughter. Is that love?

Oh, now he's just getting _weird_. Who cares if the couple in 31D is in love or not? Greg sure as hell doesn't. He has better things to do with his time than try to figure them out. Like sort out the mess he's in right now.

He goes back up to his apartment and takes a deep breath before opening his door. Nick's still there, though that's really not surprising. But instead of sitting, looking like he wishes he never would have said it, he's sitting in Greg's living room, watching something on Animal Planet.

"Hey," he says, very nonchalant, as though it hadn't been said. Greg is impressed. "I ordered take out."

"What are you doing?" Greg hears himself asking. He hasn't moved from the doorway, and thinks to as soon as he hears the couple that he was downstairs with laughing down the hall. He doesn't need his emotional unavailability a common topic around his apartment building.

Nick turns to him, finally, but with a confused expression on his face. "Waitin' for the food to get here. What're you doin'?" When Greg still doesn't move, Nick waves him over. Greg walks carefully, like if he moves too fast he'll startle himself, and sits. At the other end of the couch, as far as he possibly can from Nick. "Okay…" Nick says slowly, muting the television. "What's up?"

"What's up with _me?_" Greg says incredulously, but his voice doesn't raise at all. "What's up with _you_?"

Nick opens his mouth to respond, but apparently thinks better of it, as he nods instead. "Alright. I'll, uh, I'll go as soon as take out gets here."

Greg whips his head to the left to stare at him. "What? No! I mean, no, I don't want you to go. I'm just… Really confused."

"What's confusin'?"

Shifting his weight, Greg turns away from his lover. "I just. I walked out—"

"More like ran if you wanna get technical."

"Okay, I _ran_ out after you told me…that. I just figured you'd be a little more 'was it something I said, what's wrong with me, where's this going, was it too soon, was'—"

Nick laughs, interrupting his rambling, and Greg almost feels childish. Clearly Nick thinks his freaking out isn't as unexpected as Greg thought it was, though that was a given when Greg had returned to his apartment to find Nick watching television.

"I'm not freaked out. I knew this was how you were gonna react."

Greg really hadn't seen that coming. How in the world did Nick know that was what he was going to do? "You did?"

With a shrug, Nick turns to face Greg stretching an arm out across the back of Greg's couch. "Yeah. Knew it since you told me about your ex-boyfriend."

"And you were going to tell me anyway?"

Nick shrugs again. "Yeah."

"You were _that_ confident?"

"Yeah." Greg slumps in his seat. He really hadn't expected Nick to know him well enough to know what he would do when he said…that. God, if he couldn't even tell himself, how would he ever have been able to accept it coming from Nick? "Look, you just… You sounded really freaked out and scared when you were retelling that story. And that ex-girlfriend of yours from high school…" Nick sighs, shaking his head. "I just knew that's how you'd react. You read easy to me."

"Great," Greg grumbles, slumping dejectedly. "You _know_ me. You _understand _me. I _read easy _to you."

Now it was Nick's turn to be confused. "That's… a bad thing?"

Greg wonders if he can not answer the question and still be on good terms. Nick keeps staring at him, though, and he lets out a dramatic sigh. "No. But it just tells me… It tells me that I don't know you as well as you know me."

Nick looks amused for a second. "So?" he says. "That doesn't mean anything! It's crazy and entirely not true."

Greg shrugs noncommittally, shifting again. Nick just keeps watching him. It normally doesn't freak him out, he actually _likes _it when Nick looks at him, but now, now it's just creepy.

"Don't put so much thought into it. You'll say it back when you're ready to." Nick turns back to the television and turns the volume up, leaving Greg to his thoughts like that's all there is to it.

So that's it, then? _Knowing_ someone is loving them? When you know what your partner is going to do when you finally say the words 'I love you,' that's loving them?

Nick always knows when to give Greg space and when to comfort him. Nick knows when Greg needs reassurance that becoming a CSI was a good decision. Nick knows when Greg needs to take a break from a particularly grueling case, and he knows exactly what he needs when he takes those breaks. Nick knows when Greg gets too excited it's time to take away the coffee.

Greg sits up when he realizes something: it works both ways. Greg knows when Nick's going to blow up at a suspect. He knows when Nick's going to get sick because of the way his voice gets scratchy and tired. He knows how long Nick can be on a case before he'll crack because of no leads. He knows how terrible child cases hit him and how he'll work until his eyeballs roll back into his head trying to find out which of their suspects ruined that child's life forever. He knows how calm Nick can be in situations that need him to be calm. Like this one.

It's not the cheesy stuff books write about, it's real life.

Greg takes a deep breath and moves closer to Nick, resting his head on his shoulder and leaning into him.

It's that feeling he gets in his stomach when Nick's arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him even closer. And when Nick starts idly playing with the hair at the back of Greg's neck, Greg realizes something else.

The show on television cuts to a commercial, and Greg says, hands shaking slightly in his lap, "I, uh. I love you too."

Without seeing him, Greg knows that Nick smiles just because of the way his hand curls around his neck.

Huh. Imagine that.


End file.
